Unleash the Schadenfreudentor

As North Korea gears up to launch an incontinental ballistic missle, let us review our $91 Billion commitment to missile defense over the last decade.

Giant laser 747: Doesn't work yet. Also, has to fly around North Korea 24-7 indefinitely. Advantage: really cool-looking.

Anti-missile systems based in Alaska: Occassionally works when connected to pretend missile with long piece of string. Violates laws of physics, and doesn't work. Also, defeatable with advanced shiny balloon technology.

SDI: Dr. Evil has better lasers.

Ship based anti-ballistic missile systems. Better, but only reliable for shooting down before it's actually launched. See below.

Invading North Korea: Unpopular even among country-pop stars.

Relying on international cooperation: That 747 looks totally killer!