For LeBron to Trust You, You Must Lie

Dr. X posts this from the locker room closet:

"A former NBA player has announced that he is gay. From the story:

LeBron James, however, said he didn't think an openly gay person could survive in the league.

"With teammates you have to be trustworthy, and if you're gay and you're not admitting that you are, then you are not trustworthy," James said. "So that's like the No. 1 thing as teammates -- we all trust each other. You've heard of the in-room, locker room code. What happens in the locker room stays in there. It's a trust factor, honestly. A big trust factor."

"So...if you're gay, you should admit it. But if you admit it, you and LeBron both know you're finished in professional basketball. So you don't admit it. But don't let LeBron find out you weren't admitting it, because then you wouldn't be trustworthy.

"It's a big trust factor. All clear?"