In Which Your Secretary Heeds Your Pleas

So many of you have called, written, or sent emissaries with the same request that I feel compelled to finally respond. "Who," you have asked, "is the object of our Secretary's latest chaste love crush?"

The answer is, as many of you have cleverly guessed, Dr. Zahi Hawass, Secretary General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities and Director of Excavations at Giza, Saqqara and the Bahariya Oasis.

An archaeologist with a fan club. An archaeologist with a mission. An archaeologist with a fine sense of humor. He often tells the story of being visited in his office by a tourist who asked to tour his bathroom. Apparently he was chasing down a rumor that Dr. Hawass had a secret passageway from his bathroom to a pyramid so he could hide artifacts. The tourist took photos which he published at www.hawassbathroom.com to show people there was no tunnel. Dr. Hawass told that story so often and that website got so many hits that its name was eventually sold...to a bathroom supply company.

He's also an archaeologist with enemies! Apparently, the debate over interior versus exterior construction ramps for pyramids is running quite hot. Also, Dr. Hawass's refusal to attribute the construction of the pyramids to the work of extra-terrestrials, chaps some hides. And although the FSL might be alarmed to learn that Hawass uses robots in his work, he would probably chuckle over the letter-writing campaign launched by his young fan club members, asking museums to return stolen artifacts to Egypt.

So, dear friends, rest easy. My fantasy love life is still thriving.