David Brooks: Rock Critic.

What we've all been waiting for: What does David Brooks think about rock music?

Dear David,

Oh, no! No more rock megastars! We are all aghast! Our nation, our very culture is fracturing, because, apparently, indie rock stars are not ripping off blues musicians like in the 60s! Another pernicious fallout of multiculturalism! That's been the trouble with rock all along! Horrifying! How will music ever recover without the wisdom of the resolute, nice-guy conservative on the New York Times? How would we ever hear about how to recover, except to intereview someone whose fingers are always on the pulse of tomorrow, like Little Steven?

I try not to indulge in straight-up sarcasm, but Mr. Brooks, your inane comments on the nature of pop music have driven me to it. Aside from the unambigious lameness of laying blame for the state of American music on young rock musicians, holy shit! Look at you! The Admiral of Uncool! The King of Ass Obstructions! The Mayor of Squaresville! You're the squared square squared! You make George F. Will look like Tupac. You make the Federal Reserve Board look like GWAR. If you stood by Dennis Hastert, which of course you do, people would go: who's that sly bohemian hipster standing next to David Brooks?

I hope Karen O catches you on the lower East side and kicks you in the shin.