Frank Rich's Summary of the Campaign, and some More McCain Old Jokes

Although they keep waving Dianetics and offering us a free personality test, Frank Rich is closing the door on the Clinton campaign.

And it boils down to issues of wisdom, priorities, and competence.

And now...

Only you can stop this, Dr. X. It's your choice. I have washed my hands. This must continue until you start writing again.

1. I don't want to say John McCain is old. Well, actually, I do want to say that.

2. Nader joined McCain in the race. It's interesting, because they grew up together in Atlantis.

3. It has nothing to do with corruption. John McCain believes in giving everyone with great tits a fair hearing.

4. John McCain believes in respecting his elders, although there aren't any.

5. It's a curious fact that he's even older than his mother. Some pollution of the Time Continuum thing.

6. John McCain knows he's old but looks ahead- in the same way he considers carefully before buying very green bananas.

7. John McCain remembers his first car. It was great when he found it again by the beach, compacted by geologic forces into a small, heavy rock with a dashboard that indicated the speed in miles per year.

8. It's silly to say McCain invented time. No one's that old. What he did was invent our sense of being late.

9. McCain can't use Viagra. The Feds rejected his Environmental Impact Statement.

10. McCain visited the hospital today - nothing too serious, but over the years his hip had become partially fossilized.