June 03, 2008

Obama Wins. Now, More John McCain Old Jokes.

AP: Obama wins. Whew! Well, that was interesting.

Note to Hillary Clinton: I am personally looking forward to your tireless, enthusiastic contributions for the fall campaign.

But now, I don't care what it takes. This country is too important to restrain from making fun of an old man who likes the ditch the pick-up truck of America is stuck in.

1. McCain has vowed to use our national resources to keep young children off the White House lawn.

2. When John McCain first started flying for the Navy, the aircraft carriers were square-rigged.

3. Cindy McCain inherited hundreds of millions from her family's selling of beer. Which is ironic, because John never got paid for inventing it.

4. Interesting note: McCain first took an oath of office to Gorel, chieftain of the Hantooitak clan, in front of a shiny new Stonehenge.

5. The blue sky seems beyond Time. It is like when John McCain, or the Universe, was young.

5 Comments:

Blogger popmonkey said...

he may have clinched it, but there's no way he's winning in november. karl rove says so

June 3, 2008 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger JAB said...

Well, it looks like Karl will have to do his prognosticating from now on at the Statesville Prison.

June 3, 2008 at 5:21 PM  
Blogger The Front said...

I think we've had our decade of fun with extremist political schemes.

It is time now to move to a sounder footing, to restore the twin American virtues of integrity and balance.

I believe we are blessed that neither of the proferred candidates is a creepy weasel. Still McCain is guilty by association. Over the past 20 years the Republican Party fell victim to an insidious intellectual virus, one recognized by the great Howell Heflin when he described Robert Bork's views as "unusual, unconventional, and strange."

This strange-ness has harmed our nation. There is a sense that we have been co-opted, that we have not been ourselves. There has been a loss of authenticity, which, after all, is what got Reagan elected in the first place. The Republicans wave their flags and parade around in uniform - but it ain't America. It just ain't.

Bush's legacy is clear: his presidency was a disaster. I believe history will look on the Iraq War with some ambivalence - America needed oil, some will say, and this was a logical way to secure it. But I am certain there will be no such ambivalence over the horrific response to Hurricane Katrina. It set a new American standard for political corruption, ineptitude, and indifference.

McCain must distance himself from this debacle, and has tried mightily to do so, even going to New Orleans to declaim, disavow, and demur.

But the strange-ness is a taint that won't wash off. It's like the the car smell in that Seinfeld episode. Yes, he's a fine man. But Republican Washington stinks to high heaven. He can't pretend he wasn't involved.

McCain's a fine man, likeable, full of American values and such. But he will bring you, day-in and day-out, more of the same. An administration of practiced and privileged Defense Department hacks. Appeasement to religionists who would legislate the value of Pi at 3.1, and stone adulteresses to death. A Supreme Court unclear on the concepts of 'torture', 'privacy', and 'democracy'.

This isn't hard. It isn't complicated. McCain is more of the same, and no sane person wants that.

June 3, 2008 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger popmonkey said...

well said front.

now we get to find out how many americans are still sane.

June 3, 2008 at 6:36 PM  
Blogger JAB said...

Dear the Front: Post this fine essay as a Post!

June 3, 2008 at 8:29 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home