And Now the McCain-Palin-Stevens Joke Firesale:

Sarah Palin: Little does she know.

Ted Stevens has been convicted of 7 felonies. A little know fact is that three of them stem from the assassination plot against Abraham Lincoln.

Sarah Palin has started a trend. Next time, the Republicans are running Carrot-Top.


John McCain is getting desperate. What are the signs?

• Is offering to drive seniors to the polls, other than himself.
• Called on media to expose widespread plot of voters to support Barack Obama.
• Demanded staff look into this email thing.
• Doubling down, will replace Sarah Palin with Jessica Simpson.
  

What does Sarah Palin remind you of?

• A girl who once left me for a neo-nazi Skinhead. And then ran for Vice-President.
• That I left my wallet at Hooter's.
• That at least Eva Braun pronounced her "Gs."
• A goldfish I once had to flush.
• To never mention that I'm originally from Alaska.

How old is John McCain?

• When he joined the Navy as a pilot, the aircraft had to be inflated.
  
• He is for drilling. But he thinks it's for whale oil.
  
• He is against global warming, but mostly because he is against globes.
• He's constantly pestered by archaelogists with their damn fool questions.
• He made himself a rich man by investing $1.50 in the latest "Cotton Gin."
  
• He thinks the Internet is used to catch Interfish.
• He looks forward to the holidays, when the family collects the sacred branches and pays homage to the Sun God.
• He hates socialism because Karl Marx once burned him on an opium deal.

What is John McCain really like?

• The community newspaper Letters to the Editor page, abandoned on a dirty table at Denny's.
• Your uncle-in-law who keeps calling you a communist.
  
• Bob Dole.
  

A Isengard.Gov CLASSIC:

All Alaskans owe Ted Stevens a debt of gratitude: when Mankind first crossed the Bering Land bridge into the new continent, Ted Stevens lead the way.


What are Ted Stevens' Proudest Accomplishments?

• The Fairbanks Center for High Blood Pressure
• The Magna Carta
  
• The International Angry Shrimp Council
• The Kotzebue Philharmonic
• The rotting bodies of the interns who crossed him.

Can you give us the details of Ted Stevens' Multiple Felonies?

• Used gift massage chair in an improper manner.
• Let Major oil companies just wander in and out of the house.
  
• Failed to report gift of free Monster Bong.
  
• When offered delicious pulled pork sandwich, mailed $17 Billion to Exxon out of habit.
  
• Use Federal funds to have teeth professionally installed.
• Lived into 21st century- was against Laws of Nature.
• A further charge of abetting witchcraft was dismissed because the witness had fossilized.
  

McCain-Palin. When the 19th Century just isn't old enough.