Emergency Helicopter Crash!!

Recently, there was a debut of a new NBC show set in San Francisco that featured a number of helicopter crashes. It seemed that every few minutes during the show, something crashed again, usually a helicopter, particularly during a moment of weak dialogue.   What this show clearly needed was EVEN MORE HELICOPTER CRASHES. For example...

EXT TRANSAMERICA BLDG, DAY

DOC SMOLDERING

The handsome yet arrogant and vaguely foreign-looking action medic looks around at burning, smoking wreckage of helicopter that he has just pinned on top of the Transamerica Building, and glances at the new Bank of America logo on the building, which he notices as he is hanging by his fingers from the landing gear, inching along to reach a small, adorable boy who happened to be hanging from an open window -which is why the helicopter was called in the first place - before a passing blimp suddenly came down and bumped the rescue helicopter down onto the pyramid tip of the Transamerica building, because they were whooping it up with champagne and girls like they always do in those blimps.

Hang on Kid!  (Softly, with tenderness). Come on, kid, grab my hand! Just..a ...few..more...inches..

Kid reaches out his little hand, in which he holds a rosary.

DOC SMOLDERING

Drop the rosary kid, it's alright, we can go get it later! Just you and me, we'll go find your mom and get some ice cream and look for the rosary.

SMALL BOY #1

No!

DOC

C'mon, Kid! Do it for Doc!

The helicopter creaks and shifts and pieces fall off.

C'mon Kid, grab my hand and we'll swing over to that open window over there!

The boy's mother and her actuary look on from the window, the worry written on their faces like a teenager tags wet concrete with his DJ name. 

SMALL BOY #!

 I'm scared!

DOC

No time!!

Just as the boy reaches out to DOC's hand, dropping the rosary, the boy looks up in terror, and a huge burning helicopter is reflected in his eye, the image getting bigger.  Then a news helicopter crashes into the boy and explodes, showering wreckage everywhere, while DOC manages to grab the ledge of the open window, and the cab of the second helicopter spins up and crashes into the first, knocking them both fuselages off the building, where they roll majestically down the sloping wall of the Transamerica building right past the Bank of America logo until the boiling, tumbling wreckage crashes into the waiting fire truck below, and the fire truck explodes. There is screaming. And more screaming.  The rosary the boy dropped falls as the camera tracks it, until it suddenly lodges in the eye of a bystander who was looking up while holding a sign that says "Bank of America has a low, fixed rate on Balance transfers!" He writhes on the ground, screaming. Also, the crowd screams more and runs away, where one of them runs in a panic into Market Street and is run over by a school bus, which crashes into the burning fire truck and explodes.  

INT: BLIMP. DAY

One of the bimbos in the blimp looks up from her debauchery as she hears a thump and shushes the philandering pilots.

BIMBO #1

Oh my god! What was that?

Doc has dropped onto the irresponsibly flying blimp, and he grabs a rope and swings down the side with one hand until he is dangling outside of the cabin, but the door is locked and he can't get in, so as the stunned blimp-partiers watch, he swings back, nearly losing his grip twice, and comes in hard, crashing through the door.

DOC

Points at Pilot.

You!!

Doc punches the pilot in the face.

It was a kid! He was just a kid!

But the pilot is knocked out, slumping over the controls, and the blimp nosedives, heading directly for the helicopter landing pad on top of the roof of San Francisco General. Everyone falls over, spilling there champagne and sliding around in the cabin. "Doc" looks up to see one of the girls about to light a cigarette in front of an oxygen tank.

INT: EMERGENCY ROOM 

An ER doctor looks around at dozens of screaming patients and furious activity.

ER Doc

Christ, one more mishap and we're going to have more stiffs than McDonald's has nuggets!