Preliminary thoughts on Angel Summoner and the BMX Bandit

Can't get it out of my head. It's so right, how could it go so wrong? What do I find so compelling about the Mitchell and Webb sketch, Angel Summoner and the BMX Bandit (link)?

First of all, I love that catchy theme song. But it's not just that, there's (much) more. The whole sketch really gets at something...I wonder if TVTropes has noticed...oh yes, they have. To save you time, key tropes involved are listed in an Appendix at the end of this post.

My initial reaction to the duo was that they were a one-trick pony: BMX Bandit tells Angel Summoner what's going on, then Angel Summoner summons the freaking angels. But, on reflection, that's more of an artistic problem than a tactical one. Other characters have survived it.

It's a good trick

Tactical Shortcomings

Viewed from a tactical perspective, the team-up looks superficially impressive, but in fact can be easily defeated with good tactics. The main issue: Angel Summoner doesn't look very survivable. In the sketch it is clear that he is a somewhat out-of-shape older man, with few if any physical superpowers beyond his angel summoning (does he get that from the staff?). He clearly doesn't have superior sensory capabilities, because BMX Bandit has to explain each situation to him.

Angel Summoner is like a Nashorn: if you are in his crosshairs, you lose. BUT, he is slow, unarmored, non-agile, and extremely visible in his blinding white costume. The secret to defeating him, then, is to neutralize him before he can summon the freaking angels. Pre-emptively deploy a stealthy squad of Mutant Alliance Snipers on the rooftops to cover your bank heist, and the threat to your evil plans is greatly diminished.

So, despite Mitchell and Webb's humorous take, Angel summoner really needs the BMX Bandit. The BMXer's speed, maneuverability, stealth and scouting skills all compensate for Angel Summoner's weaknesses.

That said, the team really isn't viable as constructed. BMX Bandit can't cover all of Angel Summoner's weak points on his own. It's like sending a Nashorn out with one motorcycle guy as an escort. If he's scouting, Angel Summoner is alone, out of communication (I know it's out-of-costume guys, but these really would help), and vulnerable to an ambush. If BMX Bandit stays close to protect Angel Summoner, the team loses the deep situational awareness the scouting could provide.

From the sketch is appears they address this by having BMX Bandit scout out alone first, then meet up with Angel Summoner at some prearranged point to plan out a surprise attack. It's a decent workaround, but only if Angel Summoner can get to the waypoint in stealth mode (perhaps in a Santa outfit?).

"They're in that warehouse..."

If we're logical about it, Angel Summoner would be considerably more effective if there were a team of BMXers accompanying him. Angel Summoner and the BMX Bandits sounds better. But that would introduce new problems, notably the inevitable loss of stealth. Crap, it's the BMX Bandits - let's get out of here before Angel Summoner shows up!

And even in combat, this unit would still be quite vulnerable. BMXers are fine mobile skirmishers, but they can't take a punch or bullet any better than Angel Summoner can. They can avoid one due to superior agility, but if they duck, then they aren't protecting Angel Summoner anymore, are they? It's like using light cavalry to defend a cannon. (Robin plays this role for Batman sometimes, but they're both mobile units, so it makes a lot more sense.)

No...as-presented, Angel Summoner needs an industrial strength heavy hero, like Iron Man, Thor, or even Captain America (shield) to get between him and Big Bad's heavier weaponry. He's really an ensemble guy - he'd be a perfect secret weapon for the Avengers.

Angel Summoner Upgrades

If we want to keep the duo as-presented, we will need to think about upgrades, and, ironically, Angel Summoner is the one who most needs them. He is too fat a target - he needs either better protection, or stealth/evasive capabilities. Some ideas:

• Protective force field, a la Sue Storm (can absorb finite damage before collapsing)
• Invisibility ring (limited time)
• Some protective garment, maybe a blink cape or something
• That Obi-Wan Kenobi thing - "I'm not the Angel Summoner you're looking for."
• Master of disguise

I love that last one. Crap, that's not Santa - it's Angel Summoner!

These would need to be carefully balanced to keep the character from utterly dominating - after all, he can summon a horde of freaking angels. As with Superman, the story's only interesting until he gets loose and his powers are unleashed. So, Angel Summoner needs enough protection to survive, but not enough to prevent opponents from (at least temporarily) impeding his ability to summon a horde of freaking angels.

Don't Disrespect the BMX Bandit

Although he is mercilessly mocked in the sketch, the BMX Bandit evidences considerable skill. But he is fixated on the wrong things. He is aware of his weaknesses (no major offensive weapon, not bulletproof), but still unrealistic about his usefulness as an offensive force. In short, he's doing it wrong.

Dynamic motivational speaker Marcus Buckingham has made a career of encouraging us to ignore our weaknesses and develop our strengths. What are the strengths of the BMX Bandit? I call them the Four S's of BMX Banditry:

• Speed. Modern BMXes are very impressive, particularly in urban environments , and in some cases (a large underground parking garage, for instance) they may literally be the fastest units from Point A to Point B.
• Scouting. His observation capabilities are really impressive. He is obviously a patient and capable stakeout guy. But again, this works better with these.
• Stealth. The ability to develop so much information about entrenched thugs and terrorists suggests he may even have special stealth superpowers. He's not exactly inconspicuous with that hair.
• Stunts. He apparently has one or two minor feats that make him reasonably competent in hand-to-hand combat with normal human opponents.

Although underpowered at his current level, I would say BMX Bandit probably does have the chops to handle a few goons. He could probably work Spiderman's beat from the early years. But as he levels up and gets a few upgrades, I would think he could be a very capable, if not outright terrifying force.

What if (in ascending order of power)...

• He was a high-level power-thief with special BMX skills? Couple this with Dodge and some other agility-based feats, and perhaps allow him to use the bike as a melee weapon, and he could be Bruce Lee on wheels.
• Or, he could go the technology route, a la Batman (hell, Bruce Wayne could equip him). Then he could have a radio in his helmet, bulletproof leotard, BMX-arang, and maybe a JATO assist on the bike (no angelic help needed).
• Just blue sky thinking here, but who says Silver Surfer is the only Herald of Galactus? Why not a Silver BMXer...gone rogue? I'm just throwing that out there.

Alignment mismatch

Another potential issue with this team is the question of whether these guys are the same alignment. It scarcely seems possible. Angel Summoner is not Lawful Good, he must be Lawful Good^∞, whereas the BMX Bandit must have some "street" to be even modestly believable as a character.

If there is an alignment mismatch, the main risk would have to be friendly fire. It's not clear how much control Angel Summoner exerts over the angelic hordes after he calls them in. From the examples in the sketch, I would guess not a lot. So what happens to BMX Bandit if he's, say, chaotic/neutral and in a melee with the baddies? That bike helmet is not going to be much use against a wayward +5 Righteous Sword.

The alignment issue could also crop up if Angel Summoner's power comes primarily from that staff. If it's a powerful artifact, it's not going to react well if someone of less-than-pure-spirit is standing close by. Say BMX Bandit is there, a little bored, and starts innocently fantasizing about rubbing cocoa butter on Toni Braxton. Oops, now he's covered in boils. On the positive side, the artifact might exert a positive effect on the BMX Bandit's alignment, bringing him closer to Angel Summoner, but mightn't this negatively effect the BMXer's thief-related stealth capabilities? Some of this stuff is just imponderable.

Plot Points

But what really got me excited about Angel Summoner and the BMX Bandit was all the plot potential. You can do so much with a team like this. Just hitting the very highest points:

• It is so easy to underestimate the BMX Bandit, supervillains are likely to leave him out of their calculations altogether. Like that time Thanos the Death Titan captures all the Avengers, but Spiderman gets through the defenses and wrecks the place, and then summons the freaking angels. Everyone loves an underdog. So, imagine Big Bad, having captures Angel Summoner and takes him to his secret lair in his underground parking garage...! And only BMW Bandit can...I get chills.
• With Angel Summoner, you just have to get to staff away from him, and you have an episode right there. A kid could find it, or Big Bad could mount it above his fireplace in his underground parking garage and...
• Or, you could have BMX Bandit get caught up in some personal "street" stuff and Angel Summoner has to go undercover to try and find him. And then he learns that it's all been a trap, and that 0Big Bad kidnapped has BMX Bandit to lure Angel Summoner to certain doom in his secret underground parking garage...

It is too good. We cannot leave this field fallow.

Appendix - Relevant Tropes

• Exactly What it Says on the Tin
• Opposites Attract
• They Fight Crime!
• Overshadowed by Awesome
• What Kind of Lame Power is Heart, Anyway?
• Super Power Lottery
• Story Breaker Team-Up
• Story Breaker Power
• Dumbass Has a Point (?)
• Blessed with Suck (?)
• Can't Catch Up (?)
• Joke Character (?)