The Big Casino

One thing our blog has been lacking is a chronicle of someone being treated for cancer. Well, I've got some good news for you: I'm gonna do it!

(Oh, maybe I should have formulated that as "I have some good news and some bad news.")

Well, the bad news is this: I have been diagnosed with testicular cancer. The first stage is diagnostic. I learned this from Wikipedia, yesterday:

The diagnosis is made by performing an orchiectomy

I know, you're probably thinking to yourself, "I better have one of those, too, just to be on the safe side." Well, if you don't have any other symptoms of testicular cancer, you may want to hold off until some develop, or at least get a second opinion.

My orchiectomy is scheduled for Tuesday, after which I'll probably need a week or so to recover. Once they give me a CT scan and examine the teste in question, they'll know if I get to have some radiation and/or chemotherapy. (Luckily, I live in the pro-America part of America where I can easily score the chronic.)

I'm telling you now: I'm gonna beat this thing. (FYI: the survival rate for this cancer is as close to 100%.) When I do, I'm going to start a foundation, "Nut Strong," so that my heroic struggle can inspire millions. THIS IS NECESSARY because I can't think of one famous person who's ever had testicular cancer. People still believe that having testicular cancer means never riding a bicycle again. I WILL PROVE THEM WRONG. When I've licked it, I will ride my bicycle to work and back, FOUR MILES EACH WAY, sometimes THREE days a week (if it's not raining).