Free Porn is Not the Solution
I refuse to give in the temptation to pump up our readership by using the phrase "free porn", which demonstrably improves hit rates. I just want to caution all of you: this is not a free porn site. We do not offer free porn, and we have no interest in offering free porn. This includes, but is not limited to, hot sexy teen cheerleader babes. The world around us may be descending into a lowest-common-denominator quagmire where free porn is viewed as a birthright, but we are not going there. We will maintain our intellectual standards and stay focused on what matters, which is not free porn. Readers looking for free porn should look elsewhere. There is no free porn here, and never will be.
posted by Anonymous at 5:29 PM
5 Comments:
Not since I was a teen cheerleader have I had as much fun as on my recent trip. Plunging through a hot asian bush, I came across a small village where they raised the the most amazing enormous black cocks which they used in preparing a traditional dish called khum (or cum) lay. The secret is in pounding the cocks and dripping them with juice. I took notes and will forward them free.
It would be cheating housewives, as well as our other readers, to engage in "dirty talk" for the sake of increasing volume of our blog cum community roundtable's readership. I don't want them to say of our forum that, "she sleeps around." If you disagree with me, snatch up your phone and call me for hot sexy chat with live, horney houswives looking to have a good time. (Must be over 18.)
Don't let's make this some sort of all nude Angelina Jolie download video extravaganza with sound. Free unclothed downloads of Liv Tyler, not to mention hot lesbian action with Drew Barrymore, are wild and wildy inappropriate for our publication. It's like Ann Coulter's penis - no one's seen it but we all know it's there.
Indeed.
While certain sites may cater to the more purient interests of the web mASSes, we here at Eisengiest will never be painted with that STRIPe. We should never deNUDE the grEAT forest of our intellectual pRIDE in attempt to pASS ourselves off as something we are most ASSuredly not.
I for one, do not welCOME any such changes.
This officially scares me.
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