Two Obituaries

Dr. X posts this from a village where no one knows about that shit that went down in Europe.

"The Economist had two obituaries last week, one for Alfredo Stroessner, the famously awful Paraguayan dictator; the other for the political career of Frank Murkowski, the national laughingstock.

"It's just a random juxpaposition, of course. It would be cheap and unfair to directly compare Stroessner with Murkowski.

"They both governed in remote places, below the radar, as it were - and both managed, through their miscalculations, to achieve greater notoriety than their modest place on the world stage would appear to justify.

"It would appear that Stroessner worked harder. The Guardian's obituary notes that 'he made up for his lack of charisma by hard work and attention to detail.' He often worked until 1 a.m. and never took a vacation while in office. I have not yet seen Murkowski accused of this.

"Despite the way you all slander him, Murkowski was obviously a team player. In fact, he fired people who weren't team players. Stroessner was more of a solo act, hence all the overtime.

"Stroessner was basically a sociopath. Unencumbered by complex ideologies (he hated communism, but that was a job requirement), he stayed focused on picking the winning side, ultimately claiming the prize in the epic game of Survivor that was Parauayan politics in the 1950s. By contrast Murkowski, a committed Catholic, clearly is a man of values. It would be easy to call him an ideologue (for some Democrats that is now a spinal reflex), but he really isn't one - as a member of the Republican Leadership Council he affiliated with a group specifically opposed to ideological extremism within the party (though they didn't always play nice).

"Murkowski has had better luck with his family, marrying an impressive woman and producing a successful and well-respected daughter. Stroessner's kids didn't turn out well, and his family fell apart after his fall from power.

"I suppose I should point out that Stroessner's hands were covered in blood. Apart from its participation in Operation Condor, his government routinely killed and tortured political opponents, and, most notoriously, found a friendly home-away-from-home for insane sadistic shithole fuckwit Joseph Mengele when he unaccountably couldn't find a place to live in Europe.

"I do have a point. There is a great deal to dislike about Murkowski - I agree with him on almost nothing. But you could do far worse.

"I have lamented the sick symbiosis of ignorance and incompetence that is the hallmark of the current plutocracy. But their incompetence is our good fortune. The example of Stroessner shows you what a really competent and hard-working son-of-a-bitch can accomplish when he sets his mind to it."