All Hail and Praise the Sum of All Monkeys!
Last night, at the house of the Sum of All Monkeys, I choked on something. At first I just coughed a bit, then something happened and I couldn't breathe. I started gasping and wheezing. A very small friend tried to help me, but I started getting tunnel vision and seeing stars.
Then I felt these strong arms around me and a few tugs and squeezes and heaves and I was fine.
The Sum of All Monkeys saved me! Or at least saved a large chunk of my brain cells, for I really fear I was about a minute away from passing out. Falling asleep, I (weirdly enough) heard Elton John singing to me: someone saved my life tonight.
Thanks SoAM! I am so lucky to have such smart and brave friends!
Next week, Dr. X and the emergency tracheotomy?
posted by Corresponding Secretary General at 9:10 PM
4 Comments:
Aw shucks, it weren't nothing.
Really you should thank my CPR instructor who told me that ER doctors would much rather treat broken ribs from an overly agressive Heimlich than treat brain-death from asphyxiation.
Scary indeed! Perhaps this was the cause of that feeling of nameless dread I felt last night, and not just another Bushishta outrage that I couldn't remember.
I'd heard that the Heimlich maneuver has been deprecated. But what else was SoAM to do?
Relievedly yours,
UttDC
Too bad you weren't in Soldier Field on Sunday night!
Good Job Sum. This is no small thing.
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