Cut of the nut

You know, something like this happened to Pepys. He had an agonizingly painful bladder stone, and when he was 25 he decided to go for broke and risk surgery...recognizing that a bungled job could cripple or kill him.

On March 26, 1658, he went to a friend's house, where, at the hands of surgeon Thomas Hollier, he was "cut for the stone." Robyn Williams gives the excruciating details:

The method of doing the job is well recorded and for the non-urologically minded, let me briefly describe the procedure. I hope you are not eating as you listen to this. The patient was placed on the edge of a table with the head raised and the buttocks projecting beyond the end. The legs were flexed at the knees and tied up with a rope, so the victim assumed a position which was as inelegant then as it is today when used for some gynaecological procedures, the so-called lithotomy position. Assistants held the patient securely and some sedation such as mandrake root or solution of opium was given, a concoction which probably stiffened the surgeon's resolve rather than mollified the patient.

The actual operation involved putting a finger in the rectum to either steady the stone or pull it down to bulge at the perineum. This was incised, a dilator passed into the bladder and the stone either flicked out or seized and crushed with forceps. There were more refined alternatives, but whatever bloody and painful method was used, the skill lay in rapidity of operation and avoiding the prostate and seminal vesicles.

Pepys was undaunted and delivered of a stone said to be 56 grams in weight and the size of a tennis ball. Let me hasten to add, that's the smaller ball of real tennis, about 5-1/2 centimetres in diameter, not today's familiar lawn tennis ball. We know all this because fellow diarist, John Evelyn, saw and recorded it when he took Pepys to cheer up his brother who was similarly afflicted and prudently hesitant over surgery.

Although the joust with the surgeon must have been a gruesome experience, a relieved Samuel was happy with the outcome, as not only did he encourage the young Evelyn to brave the operation, but, with justifiable pride, showed off the illustrious specimen in its specially made case. Regrettably, like many other national treasures, the offending calculus has been lost to history.

Each year, on March 26th, Pepys held a Stone Feast to celebrate his liberation from pain, not to mention surviving the procedure.

Is it too early to start planning...Nutfest?