Let's go to the text
News item: A Minnesota Twins security guard has been reprimanded for allegedly scolding a lesbian couple for kissing.
“Here in the stadium, we adhere to the 10 Commandments,” he reportedly said.
Since many of our readers did not benefit from an education at seminary, let's recapitulate The Ten Commandments. Actually there are about twelve, as this article explains, due to differing counting methods among traditions. Let's run through them:
- I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
- You shall have no other gods before me.
- You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.
- You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.
- Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
- Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
- You shall not murder.
- You shall not commit adultery.
- You shall not steal.
- You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
- You shall not covet your neighbor’s house.
- You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.
After reviewing these in numerous translations, I conclude that, in point of fact, The Ten Commandments are silent on the matter of lesbian kissing.
These are delicate judgments, but the Eisengeiste recommendation is: kiss it up girls. If that's the guiding document, you're good.
posted by The Other Front at 8:17 PM
4 Comments:
My problem is with #3. Although I rather understand why.
It's Lesbian Kiss day at Mariner's stadium!
does the last one apply to neighbor in the physical sense only? can i covet, say, john's wife since they're 2.5 leagues from my house as to crow flies?
I'm not up on the nuances of ancient biblical languages. But I think it's a general prohibition on covetousness. Useful, if you're trying to keep a couple thousand people in the desert from killing each other.
It's a little weirder in societies that permit bigamy. If one guy has all the nubile women, I'm-a gonna do some coveting.
But note that adultery is covered in a separate section, so this is really about wanting to own things that aren't yours, not so much about sneaky fucking.
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