July 22, 2011

Commercial message

Three endorsements from our expedition members as we crawl across the English landscape:
  • If you've traveled much in England, you're familiar with that chilling moment, a week into your journey, when you find out what it's going to cost to do your laundry. A single nice clean shirt facilitated by a London hotel might run you 10 pounds. Small wonder that the country is overrun with American tourists garbed in twice-worn t-shirts and underwear best consigned to the biohazard bin. Unless you happen to be in Stratford-Upon-Avon, where a quick walk to SPARKLEAN LAUNDERETTE (link) solves all your problems. With friendly staff, quick service, and reasonable prices, SPARKLEAN LAUNDERETTE is the answer to the unlaundered traveler's prayers. You can do your own laundry, or they'll do it for you. Either way, the results are fine. Don't settle for just clean, make it SPARKLEAN! And your wallet will thank you, too.
  • Charlbury is one of those bewitching Costwold towns. It's the sort of place the English like to keep secret from the rest of us. Pleasant, quiet, and bucolic, the mobs on the tour buses have no inkling it even exists. But an Englishman knows about it and has no trouble getting there, and getting around once he's arrived. Press the accelerator on your Fiat Panda, and Bob's your uncle. But what if you don't have a car in the UK, and being left-handed, absent-minded, and easily-confused, don't fancy your chances at the wheel of a rental? Well, then, you need to call PETE'S TAXIS, on 07854 179673. Pete knows his business. He navigates efficiently, charges you a fair price, and has a sensible driving style that is becoming rarer every day. If Pete's busy, he can put you in touch with Bobby who is also a fine and honest driver. Just call Pete - he'll sort things for you, so you can get on with the business of enjoying yourself.
  • Now, who amongst us has not had this problem: you've been on the road for a while, and you're in East Grinstead, and your children have exhausted their reading materials. "Well," you might say, "there are many bookshops in East Grinstead - why not just pop into any old one?" Because it would be a serious mistake, that's why. Choosing the wrong bookshop could risk the intellectual development of your children, and, by putting you in bad temper, spoil what had been (up until your poor decision) a pleasant vacation. Far better to stroll into THE BOOKSHOP on High Street, John Pye, prop. (link). An oasis of learning and astute selectivity in a world of me-too online content, THE BOOKSHOP rises up like a copse of palm trees above the sands. The signal-to-noise ratio at THE BOOKSHOP is off the charts: every volume reflects the knowledge and discriminating tastes of a sophisticated and experienced proprietor. When your family faces those difficult moments of cultural deprivation, look no further than THE BOOKSHOP to deliver fast relief, and great value-for-money.
As you travel around this fine country, please keep these exemplary businesses in mind. I am certain you will not be disappointed.

1 Comments:

Blogger First Sea Lord said...

Wait, you can pay people to do your laundry?

As you're in country, if you happen by Henley-on-Thames, drop by the Rowing Club and give my respects to my former crew.

July 24, 2011 at 9:50 AM  

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