RESERVISTS TO QUIT ARMY

Too much fighting involved, apparently.

I HATE TEXAS HIGH SCHOOL NAZIS

The halftime show was "an error in judgment"? So was Stalingrad, pal.

SOROS DOES NOT SUPPORT OUR PRESIDENT

"I think that the United States has over-reached," he said. "What happens to extremists is that they go to extremes and the falsehood in their ideology becomes apparent."

THE NOVAK SCHOOL OF ETHICS IN JOURNALISM

It's ok to print the name of a CIA operative, but not ok to tell which high-ranking administration official gave you the name?

A Washington Post catch-up briefing is here.

SEAHAWKS - PACKERS: PIMP-SLAP BOWL II?

It's just another game. Just because the Seahawks are undefeated and their coaches all used to work for the Packers, and their quarterback was Favre's backup... I'm sure they view this as just another very routine outing.

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS COMPETITION

Another one of the those problems that's trivially easy in theory and really hard in practice.

NIGERIA IN THE 21ST CENTURY

Satellite launched, court overturns execution by stoning.

10/2 Update: Also the HAPPIEST country in the world.

Regretfully Rejected Headlines for Bush UN Speech

Bush Near-Success in Meeting Vastly Lowered Expectations Regarded as Triumph Among Several

Crickets, Frogs Give Tepid Applause Run for Its Money

White House Pols Delight in Relative Lack of Flying, Rotten Vegetables

Bush Protects Lives of U.S. Troops by Playing to Conservative Base

Wolfowitz Follow-Up Outlines Belgian Invasion

UN Blames Reception on Wicked Headache after Annan's Brooklyn Warehouse Rave

Google Search of UN Reaction Returns 4 Million hits for Word "Feeble."

Doms Direct Sex Slaves to Beg for Bush Policy Initiative

Suggested Headlines :

Ulaan Bataar Unveils Gold Operations, Mayors

US DEMANDS CLARIFICATION OF BEGICH-MONGOLIA-GOLD"CONNECTION"

International Mayor's Conference Overshadowed by Mongol "Hoarde"

MARK BEGICH IN MONGOLIA?

"Ulaan Bataar - The conference of mayors of the winter cities held on September 13 in Ulaanbaatar had 34 delegates in attendance. The delegates were from nine winter cities including the USA, China, South Korea, Japan and Estonia. The next congress of mayors will be convened in Alaska, USA. The mayor M.Enkhbold, member of the governing council of the Association of Mayors will submit to the congress a proposal for hosting the forum of mayors in 2008 in Mongolia."

Special to Lloyd: Note in the same issue of the Mongol Messenger - Huge gold ore deposits being revealed.

GOP TO DASCHLE: "DANCE FOR ME! BWAH HAH HAH!"

WSJ: Daschle's Ethanol Dilemma

In the eternal battle between principle and pork, we know what usually wins in Congress. If Republicans play their cards right, they may be able to force Tom Daschle to make such a choice and get new Arctic drilling in the bargain.

The former Senate majority leader is a main author of a huge new mandate to double ethanol use (and raise gas prices by $8.4 billion over each of the next four years) that is part of the energy bill now in House-Senate conference. Mr. Daschle is already running TV ads touting his ethanol achievements in South Dakota, where he is up for re-election next year. The farm and ethanol lobbies expect him to deliver.

On the other hand, he and most of his fellow Democrats are promising to filibuster the energy bill if it contains a provision to drill for oil in 2,000 acres of the Alaskan wilderness. The question is whether Mr. Daschle and other Ethanol Democrats would vote to kill the entire energy bill merely over the Alaskan issue. They'd also be voting to kill their vote-buying ethanol subsidy in the bargain, and voters would know it. Evan Bayh of Indiana (the fifth largest corn producing state) and Russ Feingold of Wisconsin (sixth) are also ethanol-loving but oil-loathing Senators up for re-election.

Our advice to Republicans is: Make them vote on it. Alaskan drilling already has majority Senate support (and has passed the House), so they might as well test Democratic sincerity. Some Republicans are worried that the entire bill could then go down, but we think we know where Senator Daschle's priority lies, and it's in South Dakota more than Alaska. In any case, opening up Arctic drilling is one of the few potentially useful provisions in the subsidy-laden energy monstrosity. If they're going to pass it and help Mr. Daschle win re-election, Republicans might as well get something in return.

Updated September 25, 2003

DON'T MESS WITH THE MAN, Pt. 6

Our software may not be secure...but neither is your job!

ONCE WE GET THE BUGS WORKED IT, IT WILL CHANGE THE WORLD
U.S. Issues Recall for Segway Scooters

2 MILLION PEOPLE IN PRISON AND THIS GUY WALKS

$10,000 in bail money did the trick. Just a minor offense, I suppose.

BIG CITIES I'D NEVER HEARD OF

For reference, the Bay Area has about 7.3 mm people (if you include Oakland and San Jose - about the same as Hong Kong or Madras). Seattle has about 3.7 mm (about the same as Milan or Barcelona). Here are cities in between I'd never heard of, found here.

Belo Horizonte, Brazil - 5.3 mm
Wuhan, China - 4.8 mm
Harbin, China - 4.6 mm
Shenyang, China - 4.5 mm
Poona, India - 4.3 mm
Abidjan, Ivory Coast - 4.1 mm
Porto Alegre, Brazil - 4.0 mm

And by the way, freakin' Kinshasa now has 7 mm people!

GOP GETTING WORRIED

"...In interviews with 20 Republican officials and strategists across the country, most said off the record that they are beginning to worry. They fear that if U.S. soldiers keep dying in Iraq and the jobless rate doesn't improve, Bush will be vulnerable to the Democratic nominee's charge that he doesn't deserve a second term."

How did he Manage to Connect?

I remember an old Rolling Stone article describing "three of us at the bar looking at David Lee Roth and discussing how he has the smallest head anyone has ever seen."

>I guess you might as well not jump...
>
>forwarded by Johnny Horton

Injured David Lee Roth Cancels Shows
>Associated Press
>
>LOS ANGELES - Singer David Lee Roth has canceled the rest of his tour because of a martial arts accident during a recent performance.
>
>"It was an incident onstage where he was doing a kung fu maneuver and he got hit with a staff that he uses," spokesman Todd Brodginski said. "He was doing a very fast, complicated 15th-century samurai move."
>
>The former Van Halen frontman needed 21 stitches on his face because of the Sept. 17 accident in Philadelphia. He called off seven dates in the tour of clubs and theaters because of the injury. Two dates had been canceled because of Hurricane Isabel.
>
>The 47-year-old singer said in a statement Monday that it was hard to sing and dance with the injury, but that the dates may be rescheduled next year.
>
>"Thanks for a great tour," he said. "See ya down the road."
>
>Brodginski said sales were strong on the tour before the injury.

BUSH HATRED NOW ONLINE

The New Republic's article on Bush hatred is now available online, as is an online debate here.

MONEY FOR TESTING, NOT TEACHING

This report says: too bad. Of course, The Onion has the story.

ROVE GETS OUT THE BASEBALL BAT, HITS SELF

"...The canard floated by one group of Rove's pals on day one gets shot down by another group of his friends on day two." But are people smart enough to figure this out?

Welcome to the big time, Mr. Clark.

Seattle Confused, Alarmed by Successful Seahawks

Amazing game, sorry you cats missed it. I think I identified the longterm problem: The Seattle area's essential passive aggressive character does not translate well to football. Perhaps aggression against George Bush has taught us the value of the way of the sword.

These Special Moments:

Take this for what it is-

latest poll from CNN:

Clark 49%
Bush 46 %

Truly amazing.

I THOUGHT CLINTON'S RECORD WOULD STAND FOR A WHILE

Pollster Geoff Garin, speaking to The New York Times, called Bush hatred "as strong as anything I've experienced in 25 years now of polling." Columnist Robert Novak described it as a "hatred ... that I have never seen in 44 years of campaign watching." ... I don't have a New Republic sub (who reads it now that there are no moderate Republicans?) but if you have one, the article's here.

SEAHAWKS TO DOMINATE LEAGUE

In a masterful display of professional foot-ball, the Seattle Seahawks placed their stamp on this young NFL season as the team to beat in the NFC west, delivering a bonecrushing forearm to the hopes and dreams of their division rivals the St. Louis Rams. This morning Marshall Faulk was eyeing the MVP award, this evening he's eyeing a whirlpool and big jar of Ben-Gay. Yes it's early; yes summer is only just ending. But sometimes greatness is unmistakeable. You read it here first: THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS ARE UNBEATABLE.

NORTH KOREA NOW A TOURIST DESTINATION

The BBC is there. Don't miss the slideshow of compulsory sights. And note that the North Korean triumphal arch is slightly larger than the Arc du Triomphe.

THE BURNING QUESTION

What's better- pirates or ninjas?

Pirate Tech

THAT BE TRIPLE FLINTS

Lauren's Pirate name is "Mad Harry Flint"

-Captain Kidd

It was just a month ago I was planning a cable access show called "Pirate's Perspective."

SUBLIMINAL NEWS STORY OF THE WEEK

WASHINGTON, Sept 16 (Reuters) - Top Democrats in the U.S. House of Representatives said on Tuesday President George W. Bush must fire key architects of his Iraq policies to gain help from the international community to rebuild the country.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi of California and Rep. John Murtha of Pennsylvania, the top Democrat on the Appropriations defense subcommittee, said it should be up to Bush whom to fire and refused to say who should take the blame for policies they said were disastrously flawed.

"Somebody has to go. Somebody has to be held responsible," said Murtha, regarded as one of the U.S. Congress' most pro-defense Democrats and an early supporter of the war.

HUH?

"Iron Morty Flint"?!

Democrats Locate Manhood, Dusty Balls, Behind Refrigerator

Kim Jong Il's Pirate Name

Bloody Roger Vane

MY NAME BE CAPTAIN JAMES KIDD

And the devil to the lot of ye if it not be remember-ed.

Arr. Make fast the mainsheet, ye one-eyed bilge rat, or its half rations and six-water grog till perdition.

Don't make me come over there.

WHAT BE YER NAME, MATIE?

Find out here.

(Mine be Bloody John Flint! ARRR!!!)

YE BILGE-SOAKED BLACKGUARD! 'TWAS ME ABOUT TO POST THIS SITE!!

Arrr...aye, a tip o' the grog-pot t' ye.

Pirate music from Portland: www.boggandsalty.com

AHOY, MATIES!

Today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

SLOW NEWS DAY IN PYONGYANG

Kim Il Sung did not receive any FBs, but his portrait did.

LOVE THAT JUDGE

I wish there were more like this.

HAWKS ADD HAMMER TO TOOLBOX
There's a lot of buzz around the league about Seahawks rookie safety Ken "The Hammer" Hamlin.
(Also, photo.)

[Could this guy be the next Jeremy Shockey?! - MF]
[Kenny Easly, Dumbass! -CCPC]

CAN'T FIND MY WAY HOME

This is excellent.

ANOTHER AMBIGUOUS HERO

I guess I'd known that the German nobleman Baron Gottfried von Cramm's greatest moment came in his epic match against Don Budge in the 1938 Davis Cup, and I remember reading about Budge's great comeback from 1-4 in the final set to win 8-6, 7-5, 4-6, 2-6, 8-6...

I hadn't known that:
- von Cramm was an ardent anti-Nazi
- That the Gestapo imprisoned him after he lost
- That he was a hero on the Russian front and survived the war
- That, aged 40, he managed to win the German national title in 1948 and 1949

Somewhere there's an excellent graphic arts poster based on the match. Gotta dig that up. Here he is at Wimbledon in 1951...

WELL HERE'S YOUR SOLUTION

I'm torn today, between sorrow for those unfortunate souls laid off from RJ Reynolds, and optimism that these newly-released human resources might soon be deployed to alleviate our nation's nursing shortage. Perhaps our government could arrange a compulsory national service program under which these talented individuals could assist America's overworked respiratory care professionals.

Finally, an Alaskan Man who Understands Economics

Seahawks Winning! Democrat Generals! Is Free Beer Next!?

HEAVY D's

A welcome entry into the field, impressive indeed. At the very worst, combining with Kerry, Clark's mere presence presents a very effective rejoinder to GOP "traitor" baiting, which will only look worse as Bush's prancing about the carrier video gets repeated. I'm feeling more and more optimistic. Damage is being done to Bush - (he was too chickenshit to actually speak in the City of Seattle when he was here recently).

A nice phrase for the neo-cons: Chickenhawks. (Right-wingers who demonstrated a remarkable ability to avoid combat service.)

VIVE LE GENERAL!

Official website, and unoffical blog.

I'M GOIN' WITH THIS GUY
Maybe he can put a stop to Bush's shenanigans!

ENJOY IT NOW - IT MAY NOT LAST
Lookee who's number six in the
ESPN NFL Power Rankings.

MORE WHATSBETTER

Someone already put up "Being Fast at Running" and "Being Fast at Swimming", so I am proud of this complementary item, which is starting off quite well.

REPORT FROM THE FRONT

A pro cyclist on his San Francisco ride.

on the Pyongyang site, also notice: Friendly Meeting with German Women

-Potentate Without Portfolio

District of Columbia Dreamin'

I just spent a long weekend in DC - among the highlights:

B-2 takes off from National, banks directly over the mall parking lot, much to the astonishment of a host of militarians (my word - I like it) at the Pentagon City Shopping Center.

The President whips by me as I peer at the motorcade through the Korean War Memorial Statuary, directly between the guns of two lost soldiers - I forget to flip the bird.

Next time in DC, visit the Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt memorials, which serve as a grand and deeply moving testament to our highest national values, as well as a truly breathtaking counterpoint to the quivering asshole currently occupying the office.

Don't walk, run in a stately manner, to the Da Vinci in the National Gallery. At some point in history, some dink cut off the lower third of the painting. "Virtuem Forma Decorata." - "Beauty Adorns Virtue," is written on the back.

Speaking of which, when visiting Washington, I recommend touring the sights with a stunning woman sporting stylish red hair- service improves significantly.

And now, for your assistance: Suggestions?

LEAST KNOWN FEDERAL AGENCIES


Federal Beetle Administration (- Pogo)

National Chit Fanning Council

Incredibly Vague Services Administration

Espresso, Ice Cream and Tanning Salon Regulatory Commission

National Endowment for Tasteful Decorations

DC Fund for Heavily Armed Subway Passengers

Bush Center for Intelligence (real!)

-Potentate without Portfolio

MEANWHILE IN PYONGYANG

Nice floral basket from Gaddafi today...

ROLE MODEL FOR YOUTH

You have to admire a guy who steals from Vegas and has a girlfriend named Lisa Luxem!

FUN QUIZ

Test your ability to discern between computer scientists and serial killers. (I got 7 out of 10.)

ONE LAST THING ABOUT FRANCE

I had an awkward moment when I realized that, at supermarkets in France ("super marches"), you are expected to bag your own groceries. Looking back, I kind of wish I'd said, "Yo Jacque! Make with the bag -- chop chop!"

INSIDE THE MIND OF THE MASSES

Here are the current scores of some items I posted at whatsbetter.com:
Plausible Deniability: 5 wins, 12 losses, -50 overall score
Getting in the Face of the Man: 8 wins, 1 loss, +37 overall score
Stukas Over Disneyland: 7 wins, 12 losses, -33 overall score

More to come.

MY IMPRESSIONS OF FRANCE

I won't go into the list of things that everybody always observes about Paris (and France) which were reinforced by my observations, as these are too numerous to recount here. I'll try to stick to the non-obvious (even if it's obvious to you).

Food is expensive in Paris. It was very hard to get a modest meal for under $10. A big shocker was that soda cost as much as beer in most cafes. A coffee with milk costs about $2.50, and there are no refills. Speaking of which...

You don't know how much you miss readily available good coffee until you don't have access to it. I asked our bicycle tour guide (on our day trip to Giverney) why there were no Starbucks in Paris, and he quickly replied, "December." Starbucks could rule Paris. They say that people in Paris must stop to drink their coffee, but there are plenty of young people on the go in the streets who would probably enjoy themselves more if they had a big cup of good coffee in their hands.

The French get drunk, too. I remember times when people would tell me that the French drink wine with dinner, but that public drunkenness is something that Americans indulge in. Thas' bullshit. We stayed in a very active late-night district, and on the weekends, drunken French people were yelling all night long.

The French are universally polite, but not universally friendly. This may fall into the "obvious" category, but I was surprised at how true it was.

Parisians are economical and creative in how they get around town. I expected to see bicycles, scooters, and motorcycles, but not in the great numbers I did. Also, these forms of transportation were not just the choice of young people. I remember seeing a well dressed, middle aged lady riding a dirt bike down the Blvd. St. Germain. Also, lots of people riding bikes wearing suits. Even wierder, the vast majority of bicycles in Paris were old 3-speed style cruiser bikes (kind of like slower versions of the Road Gentleman). I didn't see any drop handlebars, except used by packs of enthusiasts in the countryside. (Also notable were the number of BMW Executive scooters I saw on the streets of Paris.)

The most heavily fortified building in Paris: the U.S. Embassy on the Place du Concorde.

The French can sense that you speak English more easily than they can sense you're an American. They all knew we spoke English, but they didn't know what country we were from.

King's ministers get the shaft, monument-wise. I could not find a statue of Richelieu, Mazarine, or Colbert in the whole freakin' city. (Counting Versailles.)

Notre Dame, while impressive, is not the most beautiful cathedral in Paris. In fact, it's not even the most beautiful on the Isle de la Cite. Saint-Chapelle, a few blocks away inside the Palais de Justice, was really stunning; smaller in scale, and with stained glass windows that seemed to make the ceiling float above them.

THE REAL TEST OF CYCLING MANHOOD

The T-Mobile International bicycle race is in San Francisco today. Lance Armstrong's in it (his only American appearance this year), but he'll let someone else win. It's one of the toughest courses in America - 106 miles of SF hill riding. Last year they had 7700 feet of total elevation, including the Fillmore St. hill (18% grade) eight times. Only 49 of 180 starters finished.

Just to put his power into perspective, here is Lance last year riding up Taylor Street (16% grade) - using the big chain ring.

PARIS DISPATCH III
Returned last night from an overnight trip to Normandie. We took a fancy-pants French high-speed train to Renne (in Brittany), visited the medieval walled city of Dinan, and stayed the night at the Mont-Saint-Michel, where we sat on the walls drinking wine, eating pate and cheese, and taking photographs that had better turn out.

The next day, we visited the famous Tapestry of Beayaux (the one depicting the Norman conquest -- I didn't even know it was in France), then on to Omaha beach to look at some ruined Nazi fortifications and an over-manicured and grandious U.S. military monument and cemetary. It may surprise you to hear that the French countryside is actually quite picturesque.

WHILE IN FRANCE, BE CAREFUL OF UNLICENSED DENTISTS

Although it appears the problem is now relatively under control...

AND WHAT, EXACTLY, IS A "NATURAL" PATTERN OF MEDIA USE?

Researchers told the Faculty of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry conference in York children with ADHD may develop unnatural patterns of media use.

MODERN MOUNTANEERING

"It got so bad after the SUV broke down, we had to jury-rig the cell phone!"

EIN VOLK, EIN NEWS CHANNEL

This looks like Jamie's work.

THIS LOOKS USEFUL FOR LOTS OF THINGS

Can't wait to try it out on a stock rating system.

SHE'S A NEO-FASCIST MAN BABY

Looking for Ann Coulter Jokes..

"Herman Goering Called. He'd like his underwear back."

Or perhaps spread the news that Leni Riefenstahl, maker of Triumph of the Will, recently dead at 101, was Coulter's maternal grandmother, who had an affair with Wendell Wilke. It might have happened.

LITTLE DICTATORS IN BIG COFFINS
We went to the Army Museum at Des Invalides yesterday to see Bony's tomb (just like the one I'm planning for myself). We spent the most time looking at scale models of strategic locations in France that were built (mostly) in the 18th century. Some of the models were massive, like the 1/400 model of Bayonne, which measured approximately 1500 square feet, including every building (detailing doors and windows), and every tree and field within cannon range. (Sorry, no link!) Most impressive was a painstakingly detailed model of Mont-Saint-Michel, about 5'x5', originally contrsucted by a French monk in the 1690's entirely out of playing cards.

MORE LEAST POPULAR PARIS MONUMENTS

The God-awful Falaffel-Waffle Tower

The Charles De Gaulle Great Stone Nostril of Aloofness

Maurice's Parade of Reliable Automobiles

Le Sorbonne de Perjury

Notre Denny's

Eternal Fountain of the Cowering Navy

La Tin-Tin Musee d'ambiguitie de la sexualite

Memorial of Defeat of Black Jacques Chirac by Bugs Bunny

LATEST THREAT TO PROPERTY VALUES: ZEN MEDITATION

First Buffett wants to repeal Prop. 13, now this!

Dave Barry, American Hero

Syndicated columnist Dave Barry's Aug. 31 article on telemarketers may have been in jest, but it's been no laughing matter to the American Teleservices Association, which blames the article for jamming up its toll-free number

http://www.dmnews.com/cgi-bin/artprevbot.cgi?article_id=24946

PARIS DISPATCH 3
Sited on the streets of Paris: a minivan with a Howard Dean bumper sticker. Next to it, another saying, "I want my country back."

PARIS DISPATCH 2
Michelle and I were trying to come up with a list of the Least Popular Monuments in Paris.
So far:
1) The Arc de Waterloo
2) Le Musee de Dreyfuss Affaire
3) The Tomb of the Unknown Collaborator
4) The Robespierre College of Public Policy

HELL, I CAN GET THE SAME THING FOR $75 ON SOUTHWEST

Why didn't you just go to Vegas? Note the 3/4 scale model of the Arc du Triomphe. The Eiffel Tower model is sort lame, just 1/2 scale... Don't think of it as a tacky imitation, think of it as a postmodern meditation on the ambiguity of place. To really complete the effect, you should use all your Paris time to go to Euro Disney and celebrate Brazil's National Day. Best wishes, I'm off to the Italian grocery with my German-Chinese son...

EISENGEISTE PARIS DISPATCH
What's big in Paris? Tiny cars. Tré bien!

THEY PUT ME THROUGH TOO MANY CHANGES

Type "tell it to the X-mas bunny, kid" into Google, and this is where you end up. The line "Inferior people should not be employed" came from the I-Ching? I had literally no idea...

SORRY I MISSED THAT LECTURE

BERGMAN: Oh, here's a s-excuse me, thank you very much, here's a special announcement that just came in...

PROCTOR: Yeah?

BERGMAN: ...from the Dean of the Engineering of University of Idaho...

PROCTOR: Oh. Okay. Let's read that.

BERGMAN: ...he says: Attention all students and audits taking High Energy Statistics 431-uh-Please disregard in its entirety Professor Gogson's lecture of Tuesday last entitled 'Shortcuts to the Fission State of Paramagical Approach'. Uh, all, uh, programs written on University mainframe computers using Professor Gogson's so-called high-compression information factor should be immediately de-written, and all so-called 'Houses of Eternal Life'...

PROCTOR: Hm...

BERGMAN: ...constructed, uh, from information pursuant to that lecture should be immediately destroyed. Professor Gogson has been placed on indefinite international leave and Mr. Ericson, the uh, instruction, uh, leader will take over his teaching duties. Well. That's certainly a surprise.

SHE'S A MAN BABY

Or so a good friend theorizes. That's a helluva an Adam's apple on Ann Coulter.

'SIXTY MINUTES' TO AIR CELEBRITY CHATS

"This cloying by various television reporters for the right to interview the slut du jour just becomes kind of a silly joke, something out of `Saturday Night Live (news - Y! TV),'" Safer said at a panel discussion arranged by the National Television Academy.

THINK OF THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT OPPORTUNITIES

Rapper Nelly launched his new energy drink, Pimp Juice, on September 1...

BRITNEY SUPPORTS OUR PRESIDENT

"Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that," she said.

LIBERALS INFILTRATE U.S. INTELLIGENCE

From the CIA World Factbook section on the United States

"The onrush of technology largely explains the gradual development of a "two-tier labor market" in which those at the bottom lack the education and the professional/technical skills of those at the top and, more and more, fail to get comparable pay raises, health insurance coverage, and other benefits. Since 1975, practically all the gains in household income have gone to the top 20% of households. "

HOT CHICKS DIG THE CIA

No comment.

THIS WEEK'S TMQ
ESPN/New Republic editor Gregg Easterbrook treats us to his 2003 NFL season predictions in the form of haikus:

"Invincible till
Halloween. Don't ask Dolphins
about December."

WONDER IF THEY HANDLE PRESIDENTIAL BRIEFINGS, TOO

"Sesame Street" explains America to Arabs, Wall Street to American kids. In other news, Elmo is running for governor of California.

AL-JAZEERA ENGLISH WEB SITE OPENED
Finally, a fair and balanced source of international news!

IT'S NAZI-LICIOUS

Marketplace reports an effort to "rebrand" Germany - which apparently suffered from a certain amount of "overbranding" during the years 1939-1945.

-Minister of Culture<

"I'M LOSIN' IT"

McDonald's set to run global ad campaign - Sep. 1, 2003

McDonalds launches a new, international ad campaign, created in Germany.

AN ANCIENT RACE, PART 2

This tough enough for you? (Sorry about the poor audio quality.)

IMPEACH HIM

American productivity per hour lags the French.

AN ANCIENT RACE

Yahoo! News - 'Death Wish' Star Charles Bronson Dies

During the last couple of jobs, I complained to my younger co-workers that movie tough guys today were not as tough as movie tough-guys when I was growing up. The reaction was, to my surprise, incredulity -- today's tough guys were, to them, obviously tougher. To this I responded, "I have just one word for you: Charles Bronson."