Hey Microsoft: Where's Seattle's Free Wi-Fi?

Google proposed free wi-fi for blanket coverage of San Francisco.

Yo Microsoft - you MUTHERFUKING PASTY cracker business be-acthes! Google's all up in your face - and you're all "why, that thought had never occured to us as it is not in our business plan to dominate all life on earth. " Y'all bein' punked, jack. You can take the booty but can you bring the booty? Y'all can front but can't represent. 'Can't do right by your peeps, you go home!

Or perhaps you'd prefer to be cursed like a pirate:

What Be Ye, Gates and Allen, Sailors or Powder Monkeys? I ne'er heerd but lubberly silence and groggy sea-drool from your silk hammocks! Ye Bilge-breathin' laze-about limpet-whorin' Bastards can takes the booty, but can ye brings the booty? 'Taint a man but a flea-ate biscuit weevel whats splits the spoils with only hauling his thrice-butter'd arse to the maintop in mind. Ye canna see this as a first-rate's broadside rake up the stern from Google, yer blinder than a one-eyed bat nailed inside an ink barrel under the dancin' skivvies of the Portsmouth poppets in the cable tiers! Into the Kitty or Over the Side!