Conditions on Taking Republicans' Opinions Seriously

After decades of this stuff, I developed a time-saving test for political coverage. I stop listening to someone when one thing becomes clear: an obvious tool is arguing for the wealthy and privileged to maintain or expand its wealth and privilege.

I have far more patience for Ron Paul-ish ravings by the honestly deluded. Sadly, so much from the right-wing bullshit stream fits the above model that it's hard to sort through to the nuggets of what might have been healthy debate. It gets to be an issue now that the cities I like are increasingly one-party governed; even if it's the correct party, that's not healthy for the democracy.

So here are my conditions, if you want me to listen at all. The Republican creature in question must:

1. Not be a tool. And if it insists on a definition at this point, it is a tool.

2. Not base all arguments on obvious personal financial interests.

3. Not completely depend on the simple assertion of special personal or institutional knowledge of the mind of God.

4. Correctly and completely disclose its economic interests.

5. Argue from actual belief, rather than the diseased pleasure of screwing with people who have less power than it.

6. Convince me that its beliefs are not explained utterly by a delight in cynical dissembling.

7. Convince me that its beliefs are not inherently anti-democratic, or worse, and not that uncommonly, proto-fascist.

8. Convince me that it at least understands Charles Darwin, but rejects Social Darwinism. (This means you, Ayn Rand fruitcakes!)

9. Respect at least one constitutional right beyond gun ownership.

10. Provide a written excuse signed by its 5th grade English teacher for why it voted for George W. Bush twice.

Better yet, get off your butt, Green Party, and elect some city assembly people, state legislators, mayors and city managers. That's where your impact can be felt quickly, and do good for the communities involved by providing a competitive environment for Democrats. Everyone in power tends to get lazy and out of touch- a vibrant democracy does depend on a multi-party system, and the number of Republicans who meet the above test are statistically unlikely to not have died by 1987.