More Facebook Updates

With its limited space, the Facebook status update is just made for wisecracks. Why not one sentence novel bits?

Jamie drew his sword, the mad scupltor Cellini tossing a crucible of molten bronze - a warm dispute over Ciecherella Borgia, illegitimate daughter of Pope Alexander.

Jamie cocked an eyebrow at the preening Archduke: "Your impudence, Sir, is just exceeded by your malodorousness!" Damn the consequences- winter is good for artillery.

Jamie leapt up the barricades, flag aloft in the cannon smoke. "Liberty shall not die gasping for her life at our feet! Today, we grant our lives for her salvation!".

Jamie ,angered, lifted the cement truck which trapped the box of frightened husky puppies, holding it in one hand. Was this destiny? Was he, in fact, CAPTAIN DESTINY?

Jamie be clearing fer action and running out the guns, to bring the Spaniards the taste o' good English iron!

Jamie is spreading the phrase "Moosellini".

Jamie is now available for properly deferential interviews from the national media.

Jamie is glossing over an existential crisis.

Jamie is also accidentally threatening war with Russia.

Jamie waited as massive Persian army lead Xerxes the Great by, and as the King passed, he deftly affixed a small piece of paper to his back which read, "Kick Me."

Jamie faced the charging water buffalo, the deadly beast coming at him like a freight train. Finally, a real test for his new telekinectic abilities.

Jamie notes that history shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man.