"We Don't Need a Metaphor for War...We Have War."

Dr. X, on academic probation for missing the deadline for his upcoming paper, "Earl's Got Rhythm: The Influence of Early AC/DC on the Earl Scruggs Revue" for the South African Journal of Musicology, posts this via a hijacked telex machine on the International Telegram network:

"I wish to alert you to two amusing Daily Show riffs on the World Cup. First, John Stewart's fine obituary for the U.S. 11. Second, Hodgman has moved from ascendant to triumphant. His role as the inexpert expert gives the Daily Show the weapon it needs to expose mass media's greatest vice: its promotion of publicity-hounding stooges and mediagenic ideologues as actual experts, a topic taking up compellingly in this issue of Progressive Librarian.

"'In America,' Winter says, 'the supreme value is utility, we play the Philistine as part of our emancipation from the dead hand of European decadence.' While this is fun, it has real consequences, particularly when the issue at hand is actually important.

"As a specialist in musicology I never stray far from my chosen field of expertise, an area where my intellectual achievement is unquestioned. But I often see hucksters with no actual training or professional experience presenting themselves as experts on subjects such as...nevermind.

"Go Ghana!"