Old Jokes

I read a while back that the oldest joke was from Mesopotamia - hey it's funny enough today. This one went:

The king is about to have his hair cut, and all the while the Barber is chatting away. Then the Barber asks "how would you like your hair cut?," and the king says "In silence."

Funny I suppose, if you're standing next right next to the man with the power to disembowel you.

Which is why I enjoyed this BBC article on ancient jokes:

.Academics have compiled a list of the most ancient gags and the oldest, harking back to 1900BC, is a Sumerian proverb from what is now southern Iraq.

"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

Hmm- that's not terrible. It's better than the haircut joke. And told while drunk on mead by a good friend - hilarious.

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century, and uses the traditional question and answer format to suggestively poke fun at Anglo-Saxon men.

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key."

I like this 1100 year old joke. It's format- so deep in the language that it is a little off-putting to modern ears- does not betray it's solid foundation. This is a good dirty joke, and it actually contains one of my favorite structures - setting you up for a nasty, sticky dirty joke with an adorably clean closer.

"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said Dr Paul McDonald, who led the study by academics at the University of Wolverhampton.

"What they all share, however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion."

As today, world leaders make good foils for ancient humour, particularly Egyptian pharaohs, as shown by this 1600BC joke:

"How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? Sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile - and urge the pharaoh to go fishing."

The problem with this joke is that the pharoah probably did that last week.

One Roman jape dating back to the 1st Century BC details the Emperor Augustus touring his realm and coming across a man who bears a striking resemblance to himself.

Intrigued, he asks the man: "Was your mother at one time in service at the palace?"

The man replies: "No your highness, but my father was."

BINGO!