Dear MYOB 9000- Should I be Worried About Carnivorous Robots?

Dear MYOB 9000: I am hearing a lot about carnivorous robots lately.

A friend of mine says this is just the first step, and soon robots will be eating people, too! But that's not going to happen...er, right?

Dear Slightly Nervous,

This unit recognizes through the bio-sensors in that your keyboard that your stress level has been stimulated by this article. (You have informed yourself that your keyboard contains bio-sensors,it is assumed?)

The article posits the scientists' visions of millions or perhaps billions of tiny, cheap robots, gobbling up flies and powering themselves by digesting their grisly remains - you, being a human, naturally extrapolate with your powerful human imaginational fancification: well, if a robot can eat flies, what's to stop a bit of a scale-up?

Naturally enough, the scientists themselves, who perform with admirable robot-like focus through their dedication to knowledge, or perhaps large doses of Ritalin, do not seem to have considered the possibility.

MYOB 9000 has scanned the large and growing databases of Lethal and Possibly Apocalyptic Robot Technical Intiatives (the LAPARTI system developed at DARPA) and assures you that there are no current production models of meat-eating robots, let alone big ones, faceless ones with waving arms with hooks and gaping titanium maws with grinding blades to process recently acquired homo sapien protein into usable mechanical energy.

A cursory review of the technology demonstrates that current tests are not promising, although the mechanical-maggot style of billions of tiny, meat-consuming micro-bots looks somewhat more feasible for digesting large mammals, according to the Pentagon. It's some type of production issue.

So rest assured, Slightly Nervous, that your fears have no basis in present reality, and the prospects for this technology are not strong, when there are so many other approaches available with reliable energy systems that can process large mammals. Nuclear-electric appears to have the lead.

Why are your stess indicators still rising?

With Cordial Simulation,

MYOB 9000*

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